at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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