I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
