That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
