I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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