party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize
