Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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