Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you would pick up someone in the library
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
