At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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