So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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