he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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