Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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