Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
