If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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