so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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