I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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