I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
