the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
