His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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