some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Say something about gay babies.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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