Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
