I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
