I think i sorta joined a cult last night
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
