my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
