I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
