How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
