I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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