Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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