I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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