after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
