to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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