he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
