I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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