she pinky promised me she was 18
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
