The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
