Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
