Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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