So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
