My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
