i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
