I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
