i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
