I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
