3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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