I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
