I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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