Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
