i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
