I look better un-naked...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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