haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
