I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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