I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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